小我

作者提到剛踏進學堂時「小我很強大」，這指的是她無法將注意力放在純粹的學習上，而是被小我綁架，無時無刻都在衡量自己的得失與地位。修行的過程，本質上就是將這個小我降權的過程。

The author recalls that upon first entering the academy, her ego was formidable. This manifested not as strength, but as an inability to rest in pure learning; instead, she was held captive by the ego, perpetually measuring her worth through the lens of gain and loss, status and standing. The path of cultivation, in essence, is the process of diminishing the ego’s authority.

在本文特定語境中，小我被描述為學法初期必須極力約束的對象。若不加管束，它極易陷入狂妄或不斷的內耗拉扯中。然而，隨著修行的深入，作者學會了在小我牽動時保持覺察，從而獲得了緩衝的空間。

In the specific context of this text, the ego is described as the primary object requiring rigorous restraint during the initial stages of learning the Dharma. Left unchecked, it readily descends into arrogance or perpetual internal conflict. However, as practice deepens, the author has learned to maintain awareness when the ego stirs, thereby creating a buffer of spaciousness.